Looking back

Last week marked 4 years since I flew to Saudi Arabia for the first time. I knew what I wanted. I had no idea what life actually had in the store for me. When I try to remember my thoughts at that time, I just know that I had faith in myself and in Tamer. I remember that voice in my head that we would eventually come to Slovenia one day of course. Well, that took much longer than we thought.

In our third and last year, I was in no rush to get back. On the contrary, it was damn hard to say goodbye. The return did not mean the old, previously familiar tracks, but a brand new path again. I no longer knew where I belonged. Down there, I grew into a different Misha. I think stronger, even braver, but a little less independent.

Last year in Slovenia, I was looking for myself again. Thank God I am so privileged to be able to admit this. I have come to the realization several times that no one, except those who have spent a good chunk of time abroad, really understands this hardship, this confusion, this search.

Next week will mark 1 year since I first came back to Slovenia alone. It wasn’t until two months later when Tamer was finally able to join me. I can now say that this past year has not been an easy one for us. But looking back, and around us today, we are grateful for everything we have experienced and what is still waiting for us.